A Guide for Him and Her: Dealing With Negative Feelings during Infertility

This National Fertility Week, rise above the tide and embrace positivity in the face of infertility
The ovulation tests, the elusive fertile window, the two week wait and the anticipation of that much-wanted positive. You've done it all. And just when you think this is your month, it turns out it isn't. Dealing with repeatedly unsuccessful attempts at conception can be daunting. Most often, because the negative emotions that come with it creep over every aspect of one's daily life.

If you've been trying to conceive - for up to a year for women under 35 years, and six months for women over 35 years - it is advisable to visit a fertility specialist and have yourself assessed for infertility. Whether you're struggling to conceive, are diagnosed with infertility, or are already on the journey to assisted conception, dealing with your feelings in a healthy way can help you rise above this phase. Here, we look at infertility-associated feelings under two lenses - his and hers - and offer constructive therapeutic techniques for you and your partner to come out stronger.

For a woman: Processing infertility
Am I infertile? What's wrong with my body? How do others get pregnant so easily? Will I ever be a mother? How long will it take? The questions aplenty, the answers few. When it comes to trying to conceive, it's easy to get caught in a web of whys, hows and ifs. But with a pragmatic approach, you can use your circumstances to seek the valuable answers you need. Anxiety about the unknowns, stress about lost time, impatience, jealousy, anger and social withdrawals are all normal emotions and nothing to be ashamed of. After all, every couple's journey to parenthood is different. However, if your feelings border on depression, low moods, social isolation, frustration, or if your relationship with your partner is suffering, consider reaching out for help (some methods are outlined below).

For a man: Processing infertility
Receiving an infertility diagnosis isn't easy to stomach. You may feel a sense of shock, inadequacy, guilt, failure and even resentment, perceiving yourself as falling short in your relationship. Not true. Infertility is a complex condition that may be influenced by a combination of factors. If you have trouble reflecting your feelings, expressing your sadness may not feel like a natural thing to do, and you might instead find yourself channelling anger as a means of expression. It is normal to feel a decline in libido during this time, so if you feel more than a little diffident in bed, take heart. Explain your sentiments to your partner so you can work through this phase as a unit. It's likely that her challenges are being manifested in other ways, so a conversation can help you get on the same page.

Fertility treatments at BirthRight Fertility by Rainbow Hospitals
At BirthRight Fertility by Rainbow Hospitals, our fertility specialists are noted for treating complex infertility through a uniquely tailored approach. Our fertility services suite encompasses gold-standard treatments such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment and intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) among others. Transparent and ethical medicine is practised leaving no stone unturned to realize your dream of taking a healthy baby home. The doctors counsel you throughout and help you understand that you are not alone in this journey. It's easier to accept and overcome your situation when you know someone else is going through the same thing. A listening ear can be the perfect balm for your heart and soul. There is strength in solidarity - it's up to you to seek it out.